Never thought Ever

Till now i got by on my own


i have waited soo soo long

seasons have come and gone

i never thought i would have such feelings

never felt like this before

i feel like am sailing and see no shore

never knew i would ever

stare at the sun,

knowing it'd blind my eyes

swim in the ocean so deep ,

knowing id have to swim back with the waves this time twice as steep

Living in a Timeless World

With a gazillion thoughts flooding my mind from a trillion spheres - career, job, life, fun,family, friends, life, chores, finances, security, safety, plans, flashback... there never is a dearth if things the mind can think about. The one common variable to each of these equations is TIME.

"you would run out of time", "there is not enough time", "now is the right time to settle", "is this the time to experiment with your career", " you have spent enough time in the company of friends", "high time you start thinking about a secure future", "that time is gone"..... ENDLESS

Can a dimension that is only but a calibration, a relative concept be 'right','enough'.'less','gone'?

I wonder how amazingly awesome it would be if we live in a timeless world where you are always IN time for things, where everything happens at the RIGHT time, where time is always WITH you .... in short  a world where time is merely a word and not a variable in the matrix.

This made me undertake an experiment, i consciously stopped keeping time, thinking about the right time, listening to people who crib over there not being enough time and trust me it makes a lot of sense and provides you a lot of time to do all that you want to. oxymoronic it may sound but it does work

Have a great TIME!
:)

Of Muse, Anger, Change...LIFE!!

Aadila Blogs:

Well it is tough to explain to people why would a person want to embrace a particular faith. I don’t even see much sense in why would people want to know it either. What eludes me is why a reason as simple as “Learning about a faith, experience something new” cannot be good enough. Why does this incite reactions like “trying to make a statement are you?”, “ too jobless are you?”, “Have you lost it! “

Why is there so much criticism in people around? Why does everything have to have a reason that YOU can understand and why is CHANGE so difficult.

Why cant people change? Why do they have to be the same as they always were? Why cant things be undone/redone/done?

Well it could not have been better!  A perfect start, a lovely Arabic name, a conundrum to solve, and an experience to be had!

Hangover

From being the rock in the jar to a pebble,
From being the fulcrum of the lever to the load that just enhances the effort required,
From being the one who is always the first to be informed to someone who is never informed,
From being the friend who you would kill for to the one who you so wished was dead,
From being the one without whom life was meaningless to someone who you wish you never came across,
From being that one constant support to the one constant regret.

Life comes one full circle!

From sunny days, to rainy patches to dry winters,
From blooming flowers to leaves that wither,
From being the one to live for, the primary reason
There always is a reversal of season!

Torn between love, affection, recognition, satisfaction
wants, beliefs, desire, imagination
its tough to be all that you would want to be
as there is a difference in each situation

Parents, family, interests, ideologies
is there ever a complete sync
from being the love of life, the one to have taught a gazillion things,
to someone who was nothing but all chatter , makes you realize it was nothing but a fling

When life comes engulfing all that u ever held dear
should you just let it go or fight you fear
questions in life are ever perplexing
answers in life never can be all encompassing.

HOnestly , "did it ever exist"...
feels like a terrible hangover!

The Transition

Well here goes it.. Feels like a day at the pre school, where you are skeptical about what might come your way, you feel scared with a gazillion doubts in your heads... but you take the plunge.

Learnt the Shahdah:

La illaha illa allah, Muhammad Rasoolu allah

And there am all Set!

The Best Outdoor Adventures in India at Frommer's

The Best Outdoor Adventures in India at Frommer's

Do You Always Know?

I am not someone who would talk about what goes in my head as I don’t think I can make myself understood because am not really the best at communicating what I feel. But yes I would be lying if I say that there is nothing that I want in life and that I have everything(infact to be honest there is nothing much that I have- no people around who I can depend on or would want to depend on, no aspirations, no plan and the constant tussle between wanting to be too many things at the same time)… There are times when I feel that if I want I can get rid of this mechanical life, tiresome job, irritating people around me and just give it all up, as I am under no compulsion to deal with it. But then I would not want to be one of those who always had it easy in life… though I have been quite lucky so far as I never had to really fight for things. (I have no idea if I am making any sense but believe me you, this is how my brain functions. It keeps oscillating between things trying to rationalize the randomness that exists and trying to fuzz out the little bit of clarity that I ever had about anything and everything)

Just like the fight club.. “After fighting, everything else in your life got the volume turned down”

and that’s why I just fight things every day…am always in this phase of learning where I feel that I can inculcate whichever thinking, rationalizing, randomizing processes that exist.

There are days when I want to be this person who works real hard, excels professionally and commands respect… then there are days when I don’t want to do a thing in life and just sit back and read a novel or watch a movie.. then there are days when I would be all hyper about doing something totally different from things that I have ever done…. Days where I dream of being involved in heroic deeds.. acts that set me apart from the rest.. days when I am this simple person who has a world of her own – a tiny one of just a few people who I live for… days when I am this nicey nicey being who is loved by all… days when I am the conniving bitch who does not give a damn about what is happening around and does not care for any one else as after all it is my life… days when I want to keep people around me happy and live for them and not for myself… days when I totally curse myself for having taken the decisions that I have and where I feel that life would have been a lot easier if only I had decided wisely earlier…. Days when nothing could have been better than what it is at the present… days when I am in perfect harmony with the kind of life I lead and am grateful for all that comes my way… days filled with envy where I want to be this particular person who has always enjoyed life more than I have.. days when I want to be this queen of sacrifices where people around me take pity on me….days when am this tragic heroine who has done a lot for others and does not get enough appreciation for what I do… days when I am this woman who has total control over her life and can do anything that she wants… days where am this mean person who has always hurt people around and am in this apologetic spree.. days when I feel that am better than most of the others as I am genuine and I donot pretend…oxymoronic yes but there are such days too… days when family is all that I would ever live for… days when I would easily give up on the personal life and just go wandering…. Days when I want to be a recluse in the Himalayas where life is peaceful… days when I want to be a monk as you submit yourself to this extremely exhaustive rule sheet that you never have to make any decisions further in life as there are no choices offered…

Top Destinations 2010 Slideshow at Frommer's

Top Destinations 2010 Slideshow at Frommer's